I love Halloween. I'm not going to any events because I hate the people that are throwing the events, but I sure do love Halloween.

Earlier I thought of something interesting to share--it was so interesting that I was completely captivated by myself--I said to myself: RP, tell me more about this idea you are having. But now I have totally forgotten it. I hate it when people say--if it was important, I'll remember it because that is bullshit. It's important I turn my journal in on time, but I have forgotten over 5 times to do so.

I found my daily planner--it was in the lectern in the court room--never would have thought to look there, but when I got up to question my witness, I looked down, and there it was.

My mock trial went PDG as Renee says: pretty darn good. Here are the comments my prof emailed us that pertain to me:
-Don't fold if you draw an objection-stand and fight.(whatever--the question I asked that was sustained for being leading was a crap question anyway--I was able to get the same answer out of another question)
-Good job refreshing Terry Cohen's recollection. Perfectly done. (You know it--perfectly done. The judge said I did a good job of not letting the witness get away from me--I was pretty cut throat--the jury actually was snickering, and when I sat down, I mouthed "I'm sorry" to the poor girl because she was visibly shaken.)
-Good volume and outrage in Plaintiff's Closing. (No surprise that I had good volume, and not too surprising about the outrage. My prof said that my closing was emotionally effective--she said she wanted to go out and punch cigarettes after hearing my close, but the judge said there were things the opposing counsel should have objected to in it--outside facts and the like. I was kind of worried I wasn't allowed to put those things in my closing, but I went for it anyway, and the defense did not object).

My friends both did excellent jobs at being witnesses--and if they read this: Thank You SO much!!

Here's what I wrote back.
You are still being ambiguous about the reason for this meeting. Please tell me what this meeting is for, and what it is that I will be unable to participate in because I have an externship which is essentially a class that meets during the time you are holding this meeting. And if it is something I want to participate in, you can anticipate further noise from me about you scheduling a meeting during my class time and then excluding me from participating in it.

I tried to find on-line the rules that give you the authority to make a meeting manditory, but I was unable to find the rules governing PAD.

Also, the link for this district has not bee updated in years.

I realize I sound hostile, but I am completely floored by someone other than an official school representative scheduling what they term a mandatory meeting. Class IS mandatory, and I will not miss my class to come to the meeting. And I do not see how you can fairly exclude me from participation just because I am following the school's rules. I am in law school, and I happen to be in PAD-not the other way around.

Thank you,
RP
Law School student--in a 20 hour externship program

I feel like punching this person

Dear PAD Member,

I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding this meeting, as it was a necessity based on an incident which occurred at your school this week. I am the District Justice for PAD and I have the authority to call a mandatory meeting at any time, at my discretion. If you chose not to come, then that is completely up to you. You will miss the opportunity to participate in the business I am presenting to the chapter which is of vital importance for the remainder of the year. The short notice could not be avoided under the circumstances. Of course, I would have liked to have been able to give you more time, but that was not an option. No one will be kicked out if they do not attend, but you will not have the ability to participate in the business that will be conducted if you do not attend. The agenda for the meeting will be published 24 hours prior to meeting. I have not received any other emails from any other chapter members outside yourself, but you are welcome to direct them to me should they have questions concerning chapter business. And if you could, please send me your name, so next time I can address you by your name.



Fraternally,

John Doe
District Justice
Phi Alpha Delta Law Fraternity International

I am going to respond, but every time I write something back, it comes out like this: bite me you little weiner. You still have not told me what this stupid meeting is about. And bite me. You weiner.

So what should I write back?

Damned 2Ls are pissing me off.

How about this stupid email I got today:

Dear PAD Member:

You are receiving this email because the District Justice of Phi Alpha Delta has called a Mandatory Meeting of the Terrell Chapter of PAD at FSU to discuss an urgent matter affecting the entire chapter.

This meeting will be held Wednesday, October 31, in Room 241 at 12:30.
_________________________________________________________________________


Oh, hell no you didn't just tell me where I "must" be. Unless you are conferring my degree or giving me a large sum of money, I don't "have" to be any damn where. Here's what I wrote back:

I cannot make it to this meeting. I question your ability to call a "mandatory" meeting. Are you going to kick out members if they do not show up? I am not a board member, I am a student who has chosen to be a part of an optional activity--you cannot mandate my participation. Most of the members who are not 1Ls work or have other obligations--if you want to ensure my participation, do not toss about words like mandatory and if you must make a meeting mandatory, give me more than 5 days notice. I realize you are probably relaying the message given to you, but ambiguous messages like the one you sent: " urgent matter affecting the whole chapter" make me suspicious and angry. I suspect I am not the only one you sent this message to that feels this way.


I wonder why this message has made me so angry? well, I kinda know--don't tell me what to do. They can take their shitty little club and shove it.

I have a couple of things I wanted to disclose here, but the most important thing is this: my high school crush is living in Atlanta of all places, and he now looks like this:


I know we can't all age beautifully or look like the goddess I am, but wow. You should have seen him in high school--he was hot. Poor guy. It must be hard to lose your looks. Or maybe that was a really bad picture. He looks like he is an old German grandmother or something else I dare not put into print. I really hope it's just a bad picture.

I went with my mom to her 500th year school reunion, and I remember her talking about how everyone had aged--it's what we do. But when you have a memory of someone at age 18, it can be a bit shocking when they inevitably age.

My other friend from high school is now living in Northern France where he is collecting folk songs and folk stories with his wife. I'm about to go check out his myspace to see his pictures.

I think Ella and I have decided I should move to Texas. And marry a cowboy--well I decided I should marry a cowboy, but something tells me E will support that decision.

I just threw a major hissy fit, but I think it was warranted. Richard called and was discussing his love life, and I kept indicating that I thought he was making bad choices and that I didn't want to hear about his problem as his problem is how to juggle 2 women at work that are both throwing themselves at him and I can't even get a guy to notice I exist. I ended up telling him to just go make out with his whores--because that is what he is going to end up doing anyway. And I think they are whores---one girl gave him her underwear and the other has a signal for what kind of underwear she's wearing that day: 2= not cute, 1= cute, and the last thing I let him say about her was 0= no underwear. That's when I tell him to go make out with his whores. I then say that I am not in the best place to discuss such matters with him as I am sick of the whole idea of cute girls having no problem getting men and fat ugly chicks like me can't get a date.

He starts telling me I am jealous. I tell him I am not jealous of him or these girls, I am just sick of the situation I am in. He keeps saying I am jealous of these girls, so I tell him I can't talk to him and I hang up on him.

I am still weak from anger, but I am willing to dissect the situation to figure out why I am mad.
1. He did not respect my boundaries. Richard has always had a problem with boundaries. Our last conversation he tried to get me to have phone sex with him and was taken aback when I kept refusing and actually, I ended up hanging up on him in that phone call as well--he wouldn't take my no as a no. He can't make up his mind whether I am a friend or a orgasmic release to him. He's one of those guys that has a hard time remaining platonic with the women in his life.

2. In group Friday, I realized that I am the only one that has no romance on the horizon. There is only one other person that is not in a relationship in the group, and he has several options available to him--one of his professors/co-workers made a pass at him and he has told us about several under-grads making passes at him. One girl had a boyfriend and a lover, but just met a new guy, so she broke up with her boyfriend to be with the newest guy. This stuff got to me Friday, and it upset me. I don't want to hear how I have all this wonderfulness to offer a guy, when the truth is, no man is going to notice me becuase I am overweight. I have a great deal of sadness and anger surrounding this issue. I find it difficult to lose weight, not just because it requires me to change behaviors, but because there is a reason for those behaviors. I don't want to become a target to men, and I feel that when I lose weight, I will become a target. I don't like feeling vulnerable, so I maintain my weight so men will ignore me, then I become angry when men don't notice me. It's a painful cycle, and I am not going to get out of this cycle just by realizing it exists. I don't know how to get out of it. Once again, I don't want to hear how I have qualities that appeal to men/women, so if you are tempted to write something like that, please don't.

Guess who is confused about their career path and destination? Me.
I registered for classes Monday, and every day I change what I have registered for.
I cut my bangs and I look like the female version of dumb and dumber.
I will not get to go to Atlanta this weekend because it costs way too much to board my dogs, and I am broke.
What else can I complain about............I've chewed so much bubble gum that my tongue has raw spots on it (from blowing bubbles--my teeth scrape my tongue).

Does anyone remember the show Gimme a Break starring Nell Carter? I have the first disc to season one through that dvd in the mail red envelope place. I don't remember it being so bizarre. The acting is truly bad--I wouldn't even cast these people in my elementary school play. And the story lines are weird too. They try to have these dramatic stories, but for some reason, they don't come off as dramatic. They are trying too hard. I want you all to rent the video and tell me what it is about this show that is so weird--I can't figure it out. You know what else bothers me about this show? They have this girl in braces who is probably 14 or so at the youngest 12, and they are giving her lines and responding to her like she is a toddler--she even baby talks and wears overalls, and she says things like: kissing is yucky. Watch it--you won't regret it.

Lawyers to be--as in currently in law school. Makes sense if you read the next entry.

The weather is so great outside that I want to hang out with someone and just have a good time sitting outdoors. It has been a long time since I actually wanted to hang out with someone, which is probably why I am having a hard time finding a partner to hang out with. I have called both of my friends that I know/think are in town this weekend. I have even called a friend in Oklahoma for crying out loud. What's a girl gotta do to connect with another human being on this planet?

Those in the know (me) would say I am on the mend. I am ready to socialize and romanticize, now I just have to find those people who are willing to do the same with me. This is progress--I have had such a hard time wanting to socialize. I just find lawyers to be to be subpar humans in general--alcohol abusing, indiscriminate sex having, selfish immature assholes they are.

I should be working, but instead, I am playing on the internet. I found a story about some child prodigy artist which led me to a You-tube video of her painting which led me to other videos of child prodigies which naturally led to this:




Not that I needed reminding that a friend is a hot half man half beast that allows you to ride naked on his back, draping your nutsack along his spine, but still--it really centered me to be reminded of this old adage. Did my heart good.

Some other time I will share the source of this inspirational poster, but now I have to go pretend to work some more.

2 picture limit on posts says blogger

I was supposed to go out tonight with people from group, but I decided the rain was a sign that I should stay home. To be perfectly honest, I would have shocked myself by leaving my apartment.

Awesome news: I got my Suzanne Somers doll in the mail today--vintage 1978. Doesn't look a thing like her as you can see from the picture.



I'm not a big fan of blogger because it won't let me insert the picture where I want--it automatically puts it at the top of the entry.
I'm going to experiment with it, but also go ahead and conclude it is bullshit.
Oh my goodness, I figured it out. Because I am brilliant.

So now I can tell you who my new favorite celebrity crush is--the guy Locke from Lost (which I have been watching on DVD--addictive) This guy is so freaking hot. Please see for yourself:
http://starbulletin.com/2006/08/17/features/art1e.jpg

And now that I know how to position pictures the way I want, here are some photos from tonight's photo shoot:

I made a new friend in Hawaii today at our phone-a-thon aka pledge drive. He asked me to e-mail him. I just might. Maybe I should move there--how much more isolated could I be?
I know I am all over the place, but I don't have the same certainty I had earlier about where to live and what kind of law to practice.

I am certain that I do not like most of my law school colleagues. E.G. confirmed for me today that most of the students here are vain and conceited. I wonder what other profession I would dislike this much--I didn't care for elementary teachers because they were on average fairly dumb, and I know I wouldn't care for cops, and doctors have god complexes.....is there a profession I would gel with? I wonder.

I'm not dying. Not that anyone besides me reads this thing--so self: you are not dying.