I have my final law school exam tomorrow, and I have not studied for it. Totally unprepared, and I can't seem to care about it. It's profiled, so I shouldn't fail. And Saturday I graduate whether I fail that class or not.

There are a couple of commercials getting a lot of air time that feature a couple of blasts from the past, and I feel it is my duty to hip you to their existence.

1. The car insurance commercials with the super-perky girl that looks like she should be covered in ink because she has that trendy-goth like look about her. The company is the one that gives you quotes for their competitors--I cannot remember their name, but you have seen this commercial. The particular commercial I am talking about has a female customer saying she is looking for a new company and trendy-goth girl says: look how much we saved this customer, and the female customer says--that's a new pair of shoes and goth girl says: or a tricked out name tag. The blast from the past is the female customer. Some of you may remember the last season of Saved by the Bell (season 5) featured a tough chick in leather named Tori. This is the girl in the commercial. I will look for pictures. I just did some looking, and the company is Progressive, and the chick from SBTB is an identical triplet, so it may be one of her sisters. Leanna Creel is the actress from Saved by the Bell. Interesting story about her character--the producers decided they wanted to double the number of episodes for that season and this decision was made after the actors had signed their contracts. The actors who play Jessie and Kelly refused to sign a new contract to appear in the extra episodes, so the producers invented the new character and the episodes were mixed in with the ones that featured Jessie and Kelly--the 3 characters never appeared in an episode together. As if one tough chick could ever take the place of Jessie and Kelly.

2. There is another car insurance commercial connected with AARP where a hot female police officer pulls a dude over and asks for his AARP (because officers often ask for this in addition to your license and registration), and when the dude asks if there is problem, the officer says yes--you don't have insurance through AARP etc. The dude they pulled over was a character actor on Three's Company. His biggest role was when he played Moose, a guy who went to high school with Jack and married a girl named Robin that Jack had a crush on. Robin calls Jack after she moves to LA and says she needs to see him--Jack doesn't know she is married and thinks he's about to get lucky. Janet says good luck on your date with Robin, and Mr. Furley overhears him, so Jack says he is going bird watching for robins. Mr. Furley decides to join him, Jack talks him out of it by playing the gay card--alone in the woods, but after Jack leaves, Mr. Furley decides to go anyway. Robin actually wanted to see Jack because her husband Moose is super jealous. More hilarity and misunderstandings ensue which are quickly resolved--roll credits.

Gary Coleman and his wife will be on Divorce Court this Thursday and Friday. Don't miss it--she says he spends too much time with his train sets. Faithful fans will recall his character on Diff'rent Strokes loved train sets as well. I like to pretend that show was real, and Arnold grew up to be a freak.

Vomit inducing website:
http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html

I hate studying. I hate corporate finance, and in a couple of days, I shall hate securities regulation.

My dad offered to come pick up my dogs and take care of them until I move after I told him about my neighbor's threats to me. I thought it was sweet of him to offer, but I would be way too scared without them in the house---not to mention bored and lonely without them. They are my best pals.

I've decided I have fibromyalgia.

Rednecks on meth in Apt. 125

Let it be known that the rednecks in apartment 125 threatened me and my dogs on this 20th day of April, 2008.

I hate rednecks.

I don't know what it is about this town and this particular apartment complex, but the dwellers here seem to think they own the land in front of their apartment. I have heard several people make comments about "their" yard. And people let their dogs run around off leash as if they were in their own yard. Bizarre to me. This whole "get off mah land" mentality is ridiculous--they are renting an apartment not a house, not even a condo--an apartment with people living above or below them. Why on earth do they think they have a yard? That is the glory of apartments--no yard!

Man I hate these people. I am so looking forward to moving and meeting all new rednecks that will threaten my life.

I just finished my last law school class ever. I am thrilled.

Please tell me someone else watched Mariah on American Idol last night. She sang this ridiculous song about saying goodbye to people who have died and she had a fan blowing on her the entire time. This song is an obvious ploy to cash in on the trend of people being ridiculous about people dying. What I mean by that is, people are dedicating their autos to their deceased loved ones, they wear shirts with the face and birth/death dates of loved ones, they basically make a shrine to their deceased loved ones wherever and however they can, so a shrine song just makes good economic sense to someone like Mariah. And I think I am the only one in the world who doesn't think she has some superhuman voice of god singing voice. I remember being a kid and being super impressed with people who could sing either super high or hold a note a really long time. I guess the rest of the world is stuck on the idea that the ability to produce high/long notes makes one a great singer. I don't think she is a bad singer by any means, but I don't roll around on the floor in ecstasy when I hear her voice. Actually, it's a little breathy (unsupported) if you ask me. I'd rather listen to my sweet angelic voice than hers any day.

Also, I hate Obama. What's his deal? Every day there's some new scandal about him--first it was the racist preacher, then the story about the campaign contributions by --gasp--lobbyists. And today, he's being linked to a terrorist. But the most offensive story I've heard about him is the story that turned my neutral, border-line antipathy into hatred: he called Americans a bad name. Well, not all Americans, just blue-collar workers. I come from a long line of poor people--we are so poor, we aspired to be blue collar (I'm not kidding, I remember being a kid watching a news program reference blue collar workers and then show a "blue collar" neighborhood and wishing I lived there instead of the tin shed/lean-to/trailer I actually lived in). Hell, we were so poor, we should have been called no-collar. So when Obama called blue collar workers "bitter" people who cling to religion and guns, I went into a blind rage. Even writing this days later, I am getting pissed.

Hey everybody, I'm Obama. I'm going to make a change in world leadership. I'm Ivy League educated and a US Senator, but don't worry, I'm just like you because I'm black. I'm everyman. Well, you are not black, you are not everyman, in fact, you are like every other politician--a big fat liar. You surround yourself with racist people and make elitist statements. You make me barf. Just further proof that I hate the type of people that work in "big law". At least with Hillary, you know what you are getting. I think I'm team Hillary. Gross.

I'm off to eat a celebratory egg roll.

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I hate my job. I keep making stupid mistakes. Actually they are bizarre mistakes and I am so frustrated right now. I just got an email from the mean lady pointing out one of my bizarre mistakes. I think the problem is this job is a boring data entry job for the most part that doesn't require intellect, it requires attention to detail. I guess I am not a detail kind of person--who knew? I would like to hear nice things about myself because right now I am totally frustrated and will be very pissed off if I get fired from this stupid menial job for making mistakes. So, you should write me and boost my morale because goodness knows, they aren't going to do it. I suspect I will get yelled at, fired or both tomorrow. It's no wonder I have had insomnia all week--and I am freaking out about finals because I am too tired to study. So I don't get any work done, I get stressed and I make stupid mistakes at work which land me in hot water which stresses me out further and on and on. I hate this job. I think I should quit, but it ends May 2, and besides, they may fire me anyway.

I got my scores back for the shady lawyer exam. I needed a 75. I got 120. Therefore, I am not shady and should be allowed to sit for the bar. Too bad it doesn't work that way.

I found a lawfirm I will never work at: Quinn Emanuel. They are the lawfirm that represents the Academy of Motion Pictures. And if you visit their website, you will see nearly every attorney is Ivy League--and order of the coif (top 10 or 5%). And the very best part is the photos: they are all black and white--obviously done by the same person-no submitting your own photo here--and very dramatic. I can just imagine the egos on these people.

Have you seen the commercial for the vacum cleaner that is a round robot that cleans by itself> The one where the lady says her children are pigs--and they literally are pigs--and her husband is a donkey (we must assume jackass, but she never says the word-I don't think she actually calls her kids pigs either). I HATE this commercial. If the roles were reversed, and a man were playing the role, what would happen if he portrayed his wife as a dog (i.e. bitch)? I think I know--outrage. I'm imagining the parody of Oprah as seen on SNL where the women go nuts and rip the arms off of other women and basically turn into animals. But because it is a man, I guess we are all supposed to laugh. I think it is horrible. And what's with calling your kids names like "pig"? My parents called me a pig all of the time, and it hurt my feelings. Should there be commercials that make it seem like a white-bread -300 thousand dollar home- you should do this too- good idea? Because the truth is, a large portion of people idolize and emulate what they see on tv, and shouldn't advertisers be a little more responsible? What if the woman playing the role was a minority? Would there be outrage then? If I weren't so lazy/stressed out/busy with life, I would "write a letter". I put that in quotations because my mom always says she is on the verge of a one man letter writing campaign, but I don't think she even owns an envelope.

I have no idea where I am going after graduation and if one more person asks me, I am apt to lose my tact.