You know what I really hate? I hate being lied to, and when I find out I have been lied to--be it a lie told to me 5 minutes ago or 5 months ago, I react strongly.
I decided to do another check to see if the ex was dead online, and I found something he wrote in some motorcycle forum: on September 13, 2007, 12:53:50 AM
"Now, as for the girl I recently started dating... ugh, I would rather hear the post-mount noises from the GS. And I thought I was a fan of vocal behavior. Since moving here it seems my life has been a veritable whirlwind of deeply disturbing groans."

Where's the lie? Lie by omission--never told me he was dating someone. Probably done to "spare my feelings", but suck my dick--I don't need another person deciding what I can or cannot emotionally handle.

What's the real source of my strong emotion?
Do I really even need to explain?
I think I am the better catch--I am better looking, more in touch with my feelings, way funnier--and aside from taking medication for 2 years for a mental illness I never had and the bad behavior that went along with that--I am just generally a better romantic partner. Yet he is the one having sex. This always happens with the 2 of us. I seriously cannot understand how he gets laid and I don't.
Of course I am jealous. And hurt. And a little disgusted by his public, tacky posting--get a new trade name, I beg you.
And I am annoyed that I snooped (but I have always been a snooper). And I am annoyed that I care.

But, on the upside--I am angry, and great things can happen when I am angry. I have been so blah for the past 5 months--I haven't cared about my appearance or school or making relationships--neither new ones nor fortifying the bonds of existing relationships. But this emotional reaction is just the kick in the pants I needed. I am back in the game, and I intend to win.

I'm off to destroy some things. That sounds a bit more dramatic then I intended--I am off to destroy all evidence of his existence. Still dramatic, but.....