Now that my head has stopped hurting so much, I can use my brain a little. Here's my top thoughts of the day:
I could become a celibate lesbian. I'm technically celibate anyway, so why not mix it up a little and get rejected by a whole new gender? I could just be talking out of my ass, but I think fat lesbians see more action than straight fat chicks.
Next bit of brilliance: since I technically have an eating disorder, why not develop anorexia instead of compulsive eating? I lose weight and I get to keep my disorder--it's win win.
I also had this gem of a thought: instead of being a compulsive eater, why not become a slut? You burn calories whoring it up, so being a tramp is better for your health--except stds. But I would have to lose weight first or become a lesbian: see brilliant idea number 1.

Emotionally/mentally healthy? That's me.