This has been a hard week for me, and now I think I am sick.
I am even more reclusive than ever, and I am eating too much junk food--I think in an unconscious effort to avoid my problems. I am really disgusted by the behavior of one of my
"friends"--and I believe she knows I am angry at her, and she has not attempted to contact me. Her lack of contact makes me even more unhappy--I am the one who is supposed to be dropping her, not the other way around. I am the good one here--she is the one who sucks.

Because of this "friend", I do not want to talk to anyone--I even skipped group because I did not want to be around people. I also skipped the Pinback show--again because I do not want to be around people. I shouldn't put all of the blame on her--I also had yet another bad experience with a law school boy (definitely not a man). I said something about the video game he had been playing all through class, and he barely made eye contact with me and then freaks out like all the men at this school do because they only care about sexing it up with women--that is all we exist for, so he freaks out because the fat girl is talking to him and hurriedly starts talking to another more attractive girl. So between these 2 assholes--former friend, and penis driven man-child, I do not want to interact with other humans because all they do is hurt or disappoint me. The end.

The platonic date went well--he is actually a very attractive, interesting man. He is recently divorced and in a complicated romantic entanglement with a young gal--she just finished her undergrad. I gave him some wise advice, and I think we bonded...we'll see if a friendship develops. Goodness knows I need more mature friends in my ever decreasing posse. What am I--down to 3 friends in this town now? I'm now at the point where I just want to move back to Atlanta so I can have my sissie back and never worry about making friends ever again--b/c my sissie is the only one who really loves me. Ok, this may not be true, but I sure do love my sissie.

About the sick thing--I think I have pleurisy. Or some other serious respiratory dysfunction. If I weren't coughing, I would think I was having a heart attack due to my symptoms. Remember, if I die...Lily goes to Esther and Sophie goes to an Eskie rescue group. Not that I think I am dying per say, but I don't have any other written documentation of my wishes.